I've Always Known
by xLessxThanx3x
Summary: A collection of  fluffy  one shots over Kurt's life, starting at age three, when Burt was fully faced with Kurt's sexuality but still loved and cared for him. T for language. Eventual Puck/Kurt
1. The First Time

"_I've known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels."_

_ "Oh."_

**The First Time**

The first time he became aware of his son's sexuality, Burt happened to walk in on something he never planned on seeing: his son stumbling around in his mom's heels. At age three, Kurt was already _interesting_, but this topped everything. Wow.

"Kurt," he said. The boy in question turned around and looked at his dad. Unlike most boys his age who would blush in embarrassment, Kurt looked straight at his dad and bit his lip.

"They don't _fit_, daddy!" the toddler said with his arms crossed in front of him and his hip out to the side. His lips formed a gentle pout while his eyebrows furrowed. "And I can't walk in them very well."

Burt couldn't help but chuckle. He walked over to his son and got down on one knee; he put his son on his knee and helped him take the straps off. "I'm surprised you didn't go for the taller ones."

Kurt stated matter of fact-ly, "These are sensible heels, mommy says. I just want them to fit, though."

Burt chuckled a bit awkwardly, "Kurt, they don't fit because they aren't your size." The father placed a gentle kiss on his son's head before ruffling up his hair.

Kurt got up from his dad's knee with a brief look of disgust at the thought of his hair being messed up. He immediately started smoothing his hair. When he felt that his hair was acceptable, he turned to his dad in excitement. "Can I get some in my size? For my birthday? Please daddy! It's the only thing I want!" he pleaded, his green-blue eyes bright and hopeful. "I'll do whatever it takes to get some sensible heels for my birthday, daddy!"

"Umm…" Burt started in a daze. "Let's ask mommy when she gets back from the store, okay?" Kurt seemed to find this a reasonable idea—especially since his mom spoiled him and would definitely get him those shoes—so he gave his father a smile and pranced out of the room, humming something from _Barney_.

While his son seemed happier than ever, Burt pressed the heel of his palms into his eyelids while he sat down on his bed. This wasn't something he wanted to deal with. Somehow things had shifted in those few moments—it probably wasn't even a minute—and he had a realization. How was it that his son was barely a month away from turning four yet he already oozed a sexuality gayer than ABBA?

Yes, boys could be interested in their mommy's shoes without being gay or whatever else there was. But this…this was, as they say, the straw that broke the camel's back; it was kind of the iceberg that tipped his world into perspective. Except it was really more of the final sequin to spell out "I'M GAY, WORLD!" on his son's vest in a big tap dance number. If that made any sense.

There was the love of _Barney_. Yeah, kids could be interested in that musicals-for-toddlers stuff, but how many straight boys acted and danced to the old videos they owned? And his only play-dates were with girls. And they played with dolls. And dresses. How about the fact that he seemed to be fascinated with the male characters in TV shows and movies, in a way surpassing hero worship? And damn it, yeah, boys sounded like girls before their voice changed, but his seemed even more emphasized.

But none of that was needed for proof, not really. He was Kurt's father; somehow he just knew. Damn, just a few seconds with his son and his whole world was upside-down.

And he definitely never felt so guilty in his whole life. He was _horrible_ to people like…like Kurt, his _son_. Was it because they loved someone of the same sex? Did he hate people for who they loved? Or was it just…just because of those men liking…well…to do _things_ with other men? Burt shuddered. He was _not_ going to think of his son doing anything with anyone, boy or girl. He was his little boy, and he was going to stay that way. And this may not be what he wanted for Kurt or something he was in love with, but he Kurt was his _son_ and nothing in the world would make him stop loving the kid.

Burt pulled himself up from his bed and went downstairs to watch Kurt, who was currently coloring a _Barney_ coloring book with his tongue sticking out in concentration. When he heard the telltale sound of shoes on the hardwood floors, Kurt smiled at his daddy and ran over to him as fast as his little legs would allow him. His father picked him up as Kurt proudly shoved his drawing in his face. Burt smiled and told him he did a great job. Kurt was absolutely beaming.

Kurt was released from his father's arms and went back to the living room floor to color some more. Burt smiled and sat down in his favorite chair. He loved his son no matter what, and knew Kate did, too.

He watched Kurt color a bit and couldn't help but wonder how anyone would be stupid enough to think that it was a choice, with his Kurt just being who he was. Well, he might have thought that a while ago, but Kate had started to open his heart and mind, and then a few minutes ago Kurt came in and stapled them open for good.

It wasn't going to be easy for anyone, not at all, not in Lima, not really anywhere nearby. It was going to be hard, but he would be there for his son. Yes, no doubt about it. Burt knew that Kurt's feelings weren't wrong. And if _any _fucker tried to tell either of them otherwise he would break their face—

"…Daddy?" Kurt asked in concern. Burt snapped out of his daze, realizing he had started glaring a hole into the wall while tightly clutching his chair's arms. Kurt stood in front of him and his eyes—Kurt had such huge, expressive eyes—were filled with worry at why his daddy seemed mad.

Before Kurt could ask what was wrong, Burt smiled at him, "Do you have another picture to show me, kiddo?" Kurt smiled his own special smile, a smile that could light up the darkest room, a smile that would have melt the most ignorant bigot. While smiling his amazing smile he showed his father his coloring of Barney and his friends. "This is amazing, kid. Who's all in here again?"

"Daaaadddy!" Kurt sighed with a giggle. His mommy and daddy always wanted him to tell them who was who in pictures, since they were silly and always forgot their names. He climbed into his daddy's lap, "This," he said, pointing his finger at the main purple dinosaur, "is Barney." Burt nodded for him to go on, so he moved his finger to the green one, "This is Baby Bop."

"I have such a smart boy!" Burt told Kurt with a tickle at his stomach, causing the little boy to giggle.

"Stop it daddy!" he laughed. Once they were both composed, Kurt raised his finger, "And this one," he lowered his finger to the yellow dinosaur, "is BJ."

"You're so—wait, BJ?"

Kurt didn't notice his dad tense or his eyes grow wide. He jumped off his lap and ran toward the garage door. "MOMMY! MOOOOOOMMYYY!" the three year old yelled at his mom, who was entering the house. "I WANT SENSIBLE HEELS FOR MY BIRTHDAY! CAN I GET SOME, PLEASE?"

Burt took a deep breath to calm down before helping his wife handle groceries and Kurt. They would be talking tonight, but he had a feeling Kate already knew what he did.

Less than a month later, Kurt got a few other presents for his fourth birthday, but he only had eyes for the heels. And for knowing what he wanted at such a young age, Burt couldn't have been more (oddly) proud.


	2. Emotion: LIKE Like

**Emotion: **_**Like**_**-Like**

Kurt was just five when Kate was in the hospital the first time. Kate was lying in her bed and Kurt was curled on her right side under her arm; the two had just started a Disney movie, which had become Kurt's obsession after he became too old for _Barney & Friends_. Burt sat down in the nearby chair when Aladdin first jumped on screen.

Though his mom's side muffled his voice, Burt could hear his son singing along to every song. Burt knew his son was very smart, but it was still amazing when he realized how smart he truly was—how many five year olds could memorize that many songs?

Kate smiled down at her son when the big song with the elephant and the genie ended. "You match pitch so well, Kurt. I bet the piano classes we just signed you up for will help even more."

Kurt gave one of his big, heartwarming smiles, "Thanks, mommy." Burt was pretty sure his son didn't know what pitch meant but could tell that his mom was complimenting him.

"You're momma's little star, aren't you?" She smiled, "and you're going to play any part you want, aren't you?" Kurt nodded with wide, happy eyes. "That's our boy."

Then the scene in the movie switched to night and soon Jasmine and Aladdin were up on the carpet. Kurt sang in tune, switching between both parts, looking like hitting notes was the easiest thing in the world. When the song ended, Kurt smiled back up to his mommy.

"I wanna play Jasmine!"

Burt was startled but did his best not to show it. He and Kate had talked a lot about Kurt's…_differences_ since the night of the sensible heels incident and although Burt was still a bit awkward about it, he loved Kurt. Burt just hoped that as Kurt got older he would get more comfortable with the idea of Kurt actually liking boys. Kate's loving giggle brought him back to the scene at hand.

"Why is that, Kurtie?" She asked.

"Because Jasmine has the prettier notes," Kurt said.

Kate laughed warmly and continued watching the movie, stroking Kurt's bangs out of his eyes every now and then. By the end of the movie, Kurt was near sleep in his mom's arms—it was past nine, after all. Burt and Kate informed Kurt that he needed to get home and go to sleep.

Kurt said goodnight to his mom, and through his tiredness he managed to say to his mom, "Jasmine also gets to be saved by Aladdin, and gets to spend the rest of her life with him."

Burt's eyes widened and he didn't know what to say. Kate eyed Burt quickly, but Kurt didn't notice as he slipped into sleep. Kate kissed him on the head and whispered, "We love you no matter what, Kurt." Burt smiled and kissed his head in agreement. The two weren't sure if Kurt heard her or if he would even understand, but he smiled in his sleep.

Burt picked up the sleeping Kurt and gave Kate a goodbye kiss. When he was walking through the parking lot to get to his truck, he whispered to Kurt, "I love you, kiddo." He may not have understood why people were the way his son was, but he would do whatever the hell it took to prove to his boy that he would always love him.

—

**A/N:** Hope this story isn't too bad! I know I have at least one error on the first chapter—and it's bugging the HELL out of me—and possibly a few more in here. Any constructive criticism would be helpful, just no flames, please. I'd also just love to know if you guys think I'm doing this in character. I love Burt so very much, but I've been pro gay marriage since I knew what being gay meant, so it's difficult to write from the POV of anyone even slightly grossed out/worried/not a fan of homosexuals. I still think he's always loved Kurt; it's just hard for him to process everything. So, yeah, just tell me what you think, please.

I've written most of this since I originally planned on doing a one-shot but the story was over 7,000 words without completing two of the moments in time. I felt ready to publish some of it though and didn't want to break it up into one large section and then a smaller one, so I decided to release it one by one.

Anyways, I'll probably go ahead and post the ones I have finished up right now. And, for future warning, I'm going with Kurt's mom passing away when Kurt was six (as stated in "Ballad"), not eight (as stated in "Home"). Hopefully that doesn't confuse or piss anyone off!

And I must express my absolute fangirl death by explosion due to waiting for the Rocky Horror Glee Show—it's combining two of my favorites in one and the wait is driving me insane! I'm sure the wait for the sixth episode will be worse, SINCE I AM COMPLETELY READY FOR DARREN CRISS AND GLEE TO COMBINE! Oh, and, of course, just waiting for Kurt to get him some. It's driving me insane. Okay, now I'm done.

LessThan3


	3. Emotion: Hope

**Emotion: Hope**

Burt couldn't quite afford a trip to New York City, Kurt's dream vacation, at the time because they had spent a lot of money making Kurt's new basement room and filling it with fancy furniture (Wow, did that boy know how to spend money). But _Les Misérables_ was touring to Philadelphia, and since Kate's death Kurt blasted the music from it 24/7, so Burt wanted to take a trip up there. It was one of Kate's favorite musicals, and even though Kurt was barely eight—Burt still couldn't believe that she had been gone for two years—he could sing the whole pop opera backwards and forwards (in key) and, because of the 10th Anniversary Concert Edition, he knew one of the main songs in multiple languages.

As much as Burt loved Lima as his home, he knew Kurt had to get out of the Ohio town every now and then. Kurt needed to experience life outside of a homophobic area so he could have hope that even if the kids were mean to him now things would get better. It hurt seeing his son, the most important thing on Earth to him, having to grow up so fast because his mother died. And Burt knew the bullies were horrible to him; Kurt came home with a huge shiner once and the word "sissy" written on his bag. Burt could barely control his anger when he talked to the principal. After that incident, Kurt never came home hit in the face or with graffiti on his items, but Burt could tell that Kurt was hiding tears from being picked on. Eventually the tears stopped but he knew that Kurt just stopped crying; he was going to go through this and hide his emotions. Burt wished he knew what to say or do to make Kurt know he loved him and was always there, but all he could do was give him the long weekend trip. And he'd even go shopping with him to try to cheer him up and feel like a kid again.

When they got to the theater, Kurt's face made all the money worth it. He hadn't smiled like that since his mom died, the smile that was worth more than Burt ever thought he could give back. Kurt almost ripped his Playbill apart because of how much he wanted to read about the actors and the show. He almost was jumping up and down from his seat when the lights went out and the orchestra started playing.

Now Burt would never say this aloud since he didn't want to hurt Kurt's feelings, but he wished more musicals were like this. It wasn't jazzy or campy, but a lot more real and rugged (well, as rugged and real as soldiers bursting into song could be). But he would sit through_ CATS_ if it meant he could see his kid that happy. Kurt practically swooned on the last note of the Act 1 Finale and when Burt gave him some money to spend on whatever he wanted for a souvenir he nearly fainted. Act II was even more depressing—Burt didn't realize that was even possible—and left Kurt in tears. As soon as the curtain ascended for the bows, Kurt was the first one up, clapping his hands furiously together. Burt soon followed when Kurt glared at him, but Burt had to admit that the show was very good, though.

The father and son duo went walking down the streets to find some ice cream. Burt smiled as Kurt chattered excitedly, talking about what parts he would play (thankfully he chose the male lead, Jean ValJean, over the female lead this time) and what scenes were his favorite, occasionally singing them. When they reached a street crossing, Burt realized his son had stopped talking. He looked down and saw his son looking out in the distance with his head cocked to the side and the strangest look on his face; it was a mix of confusion, fear, wonder, hesitation, and a bit of excitement.

Burt followed his gaze and saw two men together, holding hands as they talked and laughed. The couple seemed so at ease with each other as they stopped at the crosswalk, smiling like a couple on their honeymoon. They soon stopped holding hands as one of the men gently touched the other's face, leaning into his lips. Burt turned around right before their lips made contact, but knew by the sound of the gasp at his right that Kurt had seen it. He wished he could tell his son that it was normal for two guys to be together, but he couldn't even look at two guys kissing. Did that make him homophobic? Did hoping he never saw Kurt do that make him a bad father? What would Kate have done? Was he not as accepting of Kurt as he thought? Or would he be just as uncomfortable thinking of Kurt with a girl?

Thankfully the light turned to a stick figure walking, and Burt tugged gently on Kurt's hand. That seemed to snap him out of his reverie and he kept up with his dad. Burt looked down and saw something he hadn't seen on Kurt's face since before Kate died; there was hope in his big eyes. And suddenly, his questions disappeared, since he knew he would watch a thousand gay couples kiss if it could keep the hope alive in his son.

—


	4. Found Out

**Found Out**

Burt was waiting in his truck outside of the elementary school to pick up Kurt. Today was the first day of fifth grade for his son, and Burt had decided to start picking him up from school more often since he figured that next year Kurt would be too "cool" for his dad to pick him up. He wanted to spend as much time with his son as he could, even if he felt awkward about his, well, _gayness_. He had started going online and researching how to raise a kid when you suspected they were gay and how to offer support and such since, without Kate, he didn't know if he could do it. Basically all he could find out was to always be there for him. He had also read that he should not force him into coming out or even imply that he knew he was gay; just accept him for whatever he was. Because he might not be gay…Burt snorted in his car; there was a bit too much evidence for him to believe his son was straight.

Finally kids started filing out of the building, laughing and talking to each other, discussing their summer vacations, and just seeming happy to be around each other again. Then Burt spotted his son walking out the double doors. Now, normally Kurt was alone, since he mainly stuck to himself and tried his best to stay away from the bullies, but, this time, there was another person with him. Burt saw that it was a girl that was actually shorter than Kurt—that was _really_ little, since Kurt was small and most girls were hitting their growth spurts at that time—and had long brown hair flowing past her shoulders. She wore a yellow sweater with a cartoon cat drawn on with the word, in a font so large Burt could read it from where he was parked in the car line, _"Purr-fect"_ and a short plaid skirt with white, knee-length socks. Burt could see her mouth moving a mile a minute and couldn't help but chuckle at Kurt's exasperated expression as he tried to rid himself of her. Finally he stopped at the bottom of the steps and found his dad in the line of cars. He turned to the girl and said a very quick goodbye (and quite possibly a fashion critique, as the girl stopped talking and looked down at her outfit, comparing it to his dress pants, striped button-down shirt, snazzy tie, and dress shoes). Kurt practically ran to his dad's car.

"Drive, now," he said in a way that sounded serious, scared, and still a bit threatening. Kurt was quickly buckled in and Burt wasted no time in pulling away from the school.

"Make a new friend there, Kurt?" Burt asked with an amused smile.

"Hardly," Kurt said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. Before Burt could ask for any more information he continued, "She's a new girl who decided to attach herself to me like a leech. God, her fashion sense couldn't be any worse! And she would _not_ shut up!" Burt struggled to hold in a laugh since he knew that Kurt could easily be accused of that any day.

"What's her name?"

"Rachel Berry. It even _sounds_ sickening," his son answered with a shudder. "Apparently she's lived here her whole life but has been homeschooled until this year. And she says she's been professionally training for Broadway her whole life. And this is the year we start doing choir! She's going to get more solos than me." Kurt pouted with his arms across his chest.

"Hey, kiddo," Burt said, "You know that the choir teacher only gives one solo per person per concert. That's how it's been since this school's been here; this Apple kid won't get more than you."

"Berry, dad," Kurt corrected, but he had a small smile on his face.

"So, what were you two talking about just then?" Burt asked, happy he could cheer up his son.

"Oh," Kurt said, biting his lip slightly, "She was just saying that I could come over sometime and see her house and meet her family…"

Burt thought it was odd for the fifth grader to insist that others met her family, but he assumed she was just socially behind her peers because of homeschooling. It didn't explain why Kurt seemed a bit nervous all of a sudden, but he let it slide. He turned on his left-turn blinker and waited for the cars to pass so he could turn into the shop's driveway. "That's nice of her," Burt said as he watched the traffic.

"Yeah, but her family sounds…_interesting_," Kurt stated, his eyes looking down at his lap. Burt mumbled a "hmmm" and Kurt looked up at him as if he wanted support for what he was about to say, "Well, she doesn't have a mom, but that's because she never had one…but she has two dads that she says act like a mom and dad to her."

Burt's heartbeat was almost twice as fast as the blinker at this information. It was nice to know that there was a gay couple in Lima, but how was he supposed to respond to that? He didn't think he should say that he would be okay if Kurt wanted something like that in his future since he wasn't supposed to put his kid into a box, but what could he do? He ended up nodding in what he hoped was a non-judgmental way as he finally made the turn. It didn't seem to work, since Kurt started staring at his hands on his lap again, looking shy and nervous.

"Yeah…she said that I reminded her of them in a good way," Kurt said in a voice so soft and unsure it almost broke Burt's heart. He knew that this Rachel kid knew about his son's…_differences_ and still be willing to be his friend.

"She…she seems nice, kiddo," Burt said as he pulled into his parking space, "Maybe you should spend some more time with her. Her, um, dads, sound nice, too." He looked up from the steering wheel and saw Kurt smile a bit before he wrinkled his nose, no doubt thinking of her fashion sense.

Burt wanted to say more and wish he could, but he didn't know what to say, so he smiled at his son and got out of the car. Kurt soon followed him out and Burt gave him a hug. "Still had a good first day?" he asked.

Kurt gave an even bigger smile, "Yes, it was great!" The two walked into the garage and received multiple greetings from the workers. Kurt greeted everyone back and went to his dad's office to start on homework. Burt went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face, praying he could have Kate's love and strength.

—

**A/N: **The idea of writing a young Rachel and young Kurt's opinion on her was too grand of an opportunity to miss. Ha XD. And I definitely plan on writing a companion piece to this chapter, about Rachel and Kurt meeting for the first time, especially since I think Rachel is probably the first one to _really_ know Kurt is gay out of all the kids.

I'm going to go into this in further detail in my next chapter, but I need something Burt and Kurt would both be around for—whether it's watching a movie or TV or just them going out to dinner or something—that might cause a hormone charged Kurt to get a bit _excited_. The awkwardness of Burt seeing his son get an erection is too much for me not to try to write...but I'm weird like that. Also, feel free to send me prompts on stuff you'd like to see in here, either stuff you made up that's after this point in Kurt's life or something on the show.

But, just so you know, I already have the next chapter ready to go up (and a good amount of what's the last chapter written), but I want to wait a bit now to see if any ideas come in.

And thanks to everyone who has put this on your story alert, I feel so loved! I wouldn't mind some reviews, though ; )

Thanks and much love!

~xLessxThanx3x


	5. Attraction in Innocence

**Attraction**

Over the years Burt had taught Kurt a lot about cars and Kurt always seemed willing to help (well, as long as he had on coveralls so his outfits didn't get ruined). And he wasn't just doing the little jobs of fetching wrenches and rotating tires; Kurt actually got down and dirty and worked in the engines. Burt paid him at the same rate he would pay other mechanics for working on minor problems—not that it mattered, since most female customers didn't realize he was nearing high school and just thought he was the cutest thing, giving him some pretty sizeable tips—and Kurt gladly used the money to buy new clothes and accessories. Burt thought the clothes were a bit much for a 13 year old, especially a male one, but he sure as hell wouldn't stop his son from getting stuff he so clearly loved. Well, maybe those tight sweaters that went down to his kneecaps.

Every other school day, Kurt would ride his bike to the shop, do his homework, and then help out with anything he could, or, if there wasn't school, he would work a few hours, then relax in his dad's office, and then work a few more hours until close. Burt even let him drive the cars that needed moving. The mechanics at Hummel's Tire and Lube grew to love the flamboyancy that was Kurt Hummel (though they definitely snuck some glances between Burt and Kurt when they were together, wondering how they could possibly be related). _Flamboyancy_ quickly became the _only_ f-word that they would _ever_ use to describe him as Burt made very clear when one of the workers got fired for telling a joke containing a certain three-letter word, not that most of them had a problem with Kurt, who they had known since he was a baby. As for Kurt, he loved the mechanics back in the same innocent way.

That was, until Jake arrived.

Jake was around twenty or so and had just graduated from a local community college. He was working at the shop to gather some extra money for when he went to Ohio State the coming fall where he would major in business. The young man was tall—around Burt's height—with blond hair, a square jaw, and lots of defined muscles from seasons of football, basketball, and baseball. He was a nice guy, knew his way around a car, and hated Duke, so Burt immediately liked him.

But, as he would soon find out, not as much as Kurt did…

Over the summer Kurt started riding his bike to the shop to work almost every day instead of every few days. Also, when he took the mandated hours off in the day—child labor laws, you know—he stopped hiding out in Burt's office to read _Harry Potter_ or _Vogue_; instead, he simply took a spot in the garage with a book or magazine in hand. Burt was a bit confused as to why his son wasn't embracing the air-conditioned office or why he seemed stuck on the same few pages, but he just shrugged it off.

Then came a day in the middle of July. Despite the weather looking beautiful on that fateful day, it was actually hot as Hell, and people were doing whatever they could to compensate; yet Kurt _still_ took his break in the garage instead of indoors. Burt took a break from his latest job and grabbed a donut, the box of which was right behind Kurt. He was standing right behind Kurt when he heard his son's breath hitch in his throat. Burt was about to ask if he was okay when he saw what must have affected Kurt (and _damn_ did he want to un-see it).

There stood Jake, slightly bent over a car hood with, in an attempt to stay as cool as possible, the top of his coveralls zipped down and his arms out of the sleeves. His upper body was coverall-less, leaving him showing off his muscles in a white, tight, sweaty undershirt.

Burt started praying that wasn't what was behind Kurt's strange behavior, he wasn't ready for this, but, sure enough, he saw his son's gaze above the book he was now clenching so hard Burt wouldn't be surprised in the pages became permanently bent. His eyes were definitely following the young mechanic's muscles as they tensed over the car. He could very well accept that his son was as fabulous as they came and didn't like girls, but he was not even close to ready to see his son stare at men the same way he had stared at women when he was his age. That meant he would have to give his son the Sex Talk. But Kurt wasn't out to him yet, so he would be expected to give him the straight version. But he _couldn't _give his son the same one he and countless other boys had been given, because Kurt needn't worry about pregnancy, he needed to know about AIDS and whatever else gay men needed to know…Kurt needed to know how the whole gay sex thing worked, which meant if Burt gave him a proper talk he would need to research it, which disturbed him on multiple levels. All in all, Kurt didn't need to know ways to please a girl, he needed to know how to please—no, Burt was _not_ going there. He made an internal groan and ruffled his boy's hair, something that always seemed to calm Burt down.

"Dad!" he squeaked (his voice was breaking, so his voice sounded even higher in moments like this), "Not my hair!" Kurt was definitely done with his staring session as he ran into the air-conditioning with his book in tow, desperately looking for a mirror.

The other workers chuckled—not harshly, but in a knowing way—and went back to work. Burt, on the other hand, went into his office and opened the normally closed blinds. He went back to the garage to the project he was on when he saw Kurt in the office out of the corner of his eye. His hair was fixed and after he got comfortable in his father's chair, he put up his book so he looked like he was reading, but Burt could see his eyes following Jake's every move. Burt made a nervous chuckle to himself; at least he could make Kurt's ogling comfortable. No need for heat stroke, you know…well, at least not for his son. He might just need to talk to Jake, though, he thought with a wince.

—

**A/N: **Oh poor, awkward Burt, how I love him.

: )

As mentioned in the last chapter, I have a favor to ask of all of you. I'm having trouble with the next one-shot because I want Kurt to get an erection by something, but I can't figure out what. I want it to be something his dad would be around for so it can be in the story. I like the idea presented to me about baseball games, and I also am considering them seeing _High School Musical 3_—Burt trying to spend time with his son—and having the whole shirtless Zefron moment cause it...but it might be a while before that one gets up because I haven't written it yet, unlike this one (I just hadn't posted it because I wanted some more time to look at it). But I'll try to update as quickly as I can!

By the way I'm considering writing a sequel with Kurt's POV on some of these moments. What do you guys think? I definitely want to do a one-shot of Burt and Kate talking about Kurt the night of the sensible heels incident as well. And I'm working on another one-shot : ).

And since I'm nearing the end of what I've written, **I'd love to hear any prompts on moments you want written about**, whether it is something you made up or something that happened on the show. And it can definitely be after Kurt comes out since right now the last chapter is sometime in my idealistic season two, AKA a season where Puck and Kurt get hot and heavy ; ). It can also be a future shot. I'll try to write it in, but I can't guarantee it will be put into this story—but at the very least it might help me come up with another story since I always have random flashes of inspiration.

And **I'm also willing to take prompts on other Kurt stories, **but preferably Burt/Kurt fluffy family stuff (or maybe a bit of angst with fluff thrown in at the end) or Puck/Kurt. Maybe a Finn/Kurt brotherly love piece or a Kurt/Any-Member-of-Glee friendship piece.

~xLessxThanx3x


	6. Attraction in Hormones: Part One

**Attraction in Hormones: Part One**

Burt would do most anything to bond with Kurt, even going to see that damned _Riverdance_. When it came to his baby boy, nothing was too much to ask for. Thankfully, Kurt felt the same way about his dad, so even though he would spend most of the time complaining about the atrocity that is stirrup pants, Kurt loved going baseball games with his dad. He would do anything to try to be closer to his dad.

At least once a month during baseball season, the Hummel's would spend a Saturday afternoon watching the Cincinnati Reds play against various other players. They would eat cracker jacks and peanuts and, in Burt's case, hot dogs—Kurt always packed a chicken salad wrap or something else entirely too healthy to be enjoyed at a sporting event—and cheer on the game. The two never felt the need to talk much during the game, since it was just nice to sit there together.

But when Kurt was around eleven, the interest had faded. He still went to games, but he normally brought a book—thankfully he never tried to bring _Vogue_ into the stands—to read during the game. Burt didn't want to force Kurt to attend, but Kurt never complained about going, even if it interfered with a musical marathon on TMC.

Burt had gotten used to Kurt's indifference about the game when, at around thirteen, he stopped bringing books and watched intently at the game. Suddenly he cheered at every homerun and his eyes followed the game closer than ever. At one point he even borrowed Burt's copy of _Sports Illustrated_. Burt couldn't have been more pleased that his boy was actually starting to, dare he say it, _like sports_.

When Kurt was fourteen, Burt had managed, due to some connections of tires he replaced, to score tickets to the Reds vs. Phillies game. But these weren't just any tickets; these were front of the stadium, as in the best seats available, as in they would be able to see every detail going on. Kurt was ecstatic when Burt told him about the tickets and immediately started planning an outfit for the game.

The day finally arrived and the two Hummel's took their seats at the very edge of the stadium. Kurt had, thankfully, gone with a much tamer look than usual, sticking to tight jeans—Burt knew nothing would stop Kurt from wearing tight jeans—and a Cincinnati Reds T-shirt that used to belong to Burt that had been put through the dryer several times to shrink it down. He also wore a red cap on his head, blocking his face from the sun—Burt had no idea how many times Kurt had complained about sun damage—but had still slathered on sunscreen anyways, even convincing Burt to put some on.

"I can't believe how close we are," Kurt said in awe.

Burt grinned and stretched his arm around Kurt's seat, "Yeah, we can see every players move out there." Kurt nodded with wide, happy eyes. Burt pointed to a player on the field, "That's Jay Bruce. It said in that _Sports Illustrated_ you stole from me that he's the number one prospect in the Majors this season."

"I didn't _steal_ it dad," Kurt protested with his head bowed, "You let me have it when you were done and you haven't asked for it back."

"Whatever, kiddo," Burt said with a chuckle. "That guy over there," he said, moving his finger to another guy "is Homer Bailey."

"Oh my God, yeah, he's the one who looks like Christian Bale!" Burt gave Kurt a blank stare, "You know, the new Batman?" Kurt rolled his eyes when his dad showed no signs of recognition.

"Well, he was also on that list," Burt said.

"Oh, yeah," Kurt said. His cheeks went a bit pink at the first mention of _Sports Illustrated_ and were damn near red by that point. Burt assumed that it was from the sun as Kurt had always been sensitive to heat. "I definitely read that." His voice sounded a bit hesitant and unconvincing, but Burt let it go as they were told to rise for the National Anthem.

_"…Over the land of the free and the home of the brave!" _Kurt ended with the rest of the crowd, his voice soaring on the high note of the word _free_.

A woman a row and a few seats away leaned over and told Kurt he sounded lovely. Kurt beamed at the lady and gave a few words of thanks and complimented her outfit, not noticing the man next to her who scowled at Kurt as soon as his high, feminine voice sounded. Burt did, however, and gave the man a stare that said, _"Something wrong with my son, punk?"_ and the man immediately looked panicked and turned to the game. Burt chuckled darkly; he was very proud of how good he was at scaring idiots like that.

Kurt and Burt watched the game, occasionally cheering on the Reds. Burt kept checking to make sure that his son was doing okay, but Kurt barely blinked he was so enthralled by the players. Burt was thrilled that his son was enjoying the game as much as he was, and the pair did little but cheer and watch. During the seventh inning stretch, Kurt reapplied, yet again, sunscreen on this exposed skin and even some unexposed areas like his legs—"Better safe than sorry when it comes to skin cancer, dad." Then the players started coming back on the field, and Kurt remarked yet again how amazingly close they were.

He was still rubbing in sunscreen when Burt noticed it. Even though the player wasn't doing much but just standing there, Kurt kept his eyes on Joey Votto the whole time. Kurt continued to rub—no, _massage_—sunscreen into his skin while watching Votto; then he _licked his lips_. Burt knew it was involuntary, but _damn it_, that was completely unnecessary!

But it wasn't bad enough that Burt was watching his son lust over a man in front of him, of _course_ not. No, the Powers That Be just needed to pump awkwardness into _any_ and _every_ moment Burt tried to share with his son. Of _course _a ball had to be coming their way. Of _course_ multiple members of the team went after the ball. Of _course_ the ball went low and one of the players had to bend over to get the ball, covered in sweat and muscles flexed. Of _course_ a small noise had to leave Kurt's lips. Of _course_ Burt had to look over at his son to make sure he was okay. Of _course_ Kurt attempted to cross his legs in an effort to hide it. But Burt saw it.

His. Son. Had. An. Erection. From. Baseball. Players.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it!

Kurt was now blushing like mad and Burt was paler than Kurt was during winter. Both looked in the various different directions, avoiding eye contact at all cost. Burt had no idea how to act. And Burt suddenly realized that the interest in the game was due to muscled men running around in tight outfits. And oh my _God_, the _Sports Illustrated_ was definitely being used for masturbation, hence why it wasn't returned.

What was he supposed to do? Should he ignore it? Should he ask if Kurt was gay? Or was it truly better to not imply that he knew his son was gay? No, this was undeniable proof that his son was gay, and Burt had to tell him he knew.

Then out of the corner of his eye he saw Kurt's face. It was hard to notice with the bright red blush over his cheeks, but his eyes weren't reflecting embarrassment. They were full of fear and something else. It took a while to identify, but Burt realized what it was: shame. Burt had never thought about Kurt needing time to accept who he was, Burt always just thought Kurt was automatically okay with it and it was just Burt slowing down the process of coming out. But now he realized how stupid that was; Kurt was a teenager, of _course_ he was ashamed of how he felt because it was different than what he was told he was supposed to be. In some ways, Burt had it easier, since he didn't have to deal with the actual emotions of being gay or the direct taunts of it; yeah, it hurt him like hell to see his son hurting because of it, but he never would experience it firsthand. And Burt had known for quite some time that his son was gay and all the negative implications behind it, but Kurt couldn't have known that people like him were considered wrong until a few years ago. So, no, Burt _couldn't_ just tell his son he was gay and that he knew, since Kurt needed to fully accept himself first before he could tell his dad anything.

Finally Burt cleared his throat and turned to Kurt, who now sat with uncrossed legs, obviously less "excited". "Um," he started, "Don't worry son, it happens randomly to all of us at one point or another. Hormones, y'know?"

Kurt nodded, "Yeah, totally random. Who knew sunscreen was an aphrodisiac?" He gave an embarrassed, nervous laugh and Burt attempted to chuckle awkwardly.

Burt threw one of his arms around Kurt and brought him in for a half hug. The two stayed like that for the rest of the game. And although it was an awkward and embarrassing time right now, both Burt and Kurt still enjoyed the game—the Reds won 6 to 1—and Burt couldn't help but smile. He knew at some point in the future, even though the thought made his stomach drop at the moment, this day would be a great story to embarrass Kurt with when he got a boyfriend. But Burt decided he would not be taking Kurt to baseball games for a few years.

Freaking hormones.

—

**A/N: **Woah, I actually had to do research for this one, seeing as: A) I know nothing about sports; B) I only know for sure that there are the baseball teams of the Yankees, Phillies, Red Sox, and—since I've mainly lived in Kansas—Royals; C) Even on the before mentioned teams I know no one's name; and D) I didn't want to just glaze over the game and go straight to the erection. I think I might write another awkward Burt/Kurt erection/attraction chapter (hence the "part one" in the chapter title), but I might change my mind.

Anyways, I hope this was worth the wait. I had all the other chapters written before I even published chapter one, but not this one. And I normally (hopefully) shouldn't/wouldn't take this long to update, but then all my music classes seemed to decided to have horrid exams and I have a vocal competition this weekend. Plus when I started writing this I had to do research (as mentioned above). And then I discovered the glee_fluff_meme…and then the Puck/Kurt one…so now I have mucho amounts of ideas to write!

But one favor: I need a title for a pamphlet Miss Pillsbury would have on drinking for a chapter I'm working on. Thanks in advance! Oh, and also, review please : )

**Platowasabore: **Could you please post this on the glee_fluff_meme then with a link to my story? I'd very much appreciate it. Also, I might have Burt find Kurt's vibrator (a la your story) and was wondering if you would be okay with that. If not, I can totally not use it. : )

Love,  
xLessxThanx3x


	7. Coming Out

**Coming Out**

Burt was bewildered. He was watching his _son_, the most flamboyant kid in existence, at a football game. Kurt was on the team...what?

Just a few days ago his son was alone with two girls—on of which was his "girlfriend", which was quite a ridiculous idea—doing some sort of dance to a woman's song about rings. Kurt claimed it had something to do with sports and the girls tried covering for him, saying he was now on the football team as the kicker, the smallest guy out there. Burt saw the panic in his son's face before it went back to neutral, so Burt just _had_ to tell Kurt to get him a ticket to his "first game"; he wanted to provoke the truth out of him.

Burt had hoped that his son would just say that he was gay. Then Burt could tell him he still loved him just as much as ever and Kurt could continue his girly dance. Maybe it was wrong, but Burt was tired of the charade. Ever since the baseball game, the two talked even less; Burt just felt too damn uncomfortable to go to baseball games with his son, and without that they had little to talk about other than, "Here's my report card," and "Can you help me at the garage this weekend?" Their Friday Night Dinners contained forced conversations about the week, but Kurt mainly locked himself in his room and Burt had no idea how to talk to him about anything.

So yeah, maybe the two were uncomfortable around each other and all, but did Burt seem homophobic to Kurt? He guessed he did seem like a stereotypical redneck with his _Deadliest Catch_ marathons, flannel, sports games, and ownership of an auto repair shop…but did Kurt really think he didn't love him? Was he failing that much as a parent?

He was beginning to think he might just go along with Kurt's charade when his son handed him tickets to a game that Friday. Where he would be kicker. Was his son really not lying?

So he finally made it to the game. Kurt was so excited to see him that he was jumping up and down. The game was going horrible as usual for McKinley when the quarterback made a decision that his teammates didn't seem to approve of, if their body language meant anything. Burt understood why when the quarterback—Finn Hanson or something like that—cued the speakers and the stadium was flooded with that chick song Kurt had been dancing to.

Oh.

My.

God.

What the Hell was going on? Was this Kurt's doing? Was he serious when he said that his dance was a sports thing? But before he could ponder it anymore the team managed to score, tying the game. Burt gulped; that meant it was up to Kurt now. That couldn't end well. He loved his son, he _really_ did, but Kurt never showed much skill in anything requiring physical activity, well, except shopping.

Kurt walked nervously out on the field and Burt couldn't help but notice how tiny he was in comparison to everyone else. Was that a gay thing or a Kurt thing? He wasn't sure. Well, Kate had been short…

Then the song was playing again. He shouldn't have been surprised, but somehow he was. How did his son manage to seem gayer than a whole group of men dancing like that? Kurt was something else.

And "something else" seemed to also mean "a mean kicker". As soon as the whistle blew, Burt was on his feet, "Yes! Yes! That's my son!" He saw Kurt getting lifted up by his teammates in celebration of their first win in years. And why did they win? It was because of _Kurt_. Burt had never been more proud…until later that night.

"Night time skin care is a big part of my post game ritual," his son said as his father eyed the puff he had been rubbing on his face. Burt had come down to his son's room to talk to him.

"I don't know what to say about that," Burt said, deciding honesty was the best policy. "But, uh…I was really proud of you tonight, Kurt." He smiled at the memory. "I wish your mom would've been there. I mean…alive." It felt good talking about Kate with Kurt, which was something he hadn't done for years and years.

"Thanks," Kurt whispered with a small nod. Burt started to leave when Kurt said, "Dad..." Burt stopped and turned back and Kurt got out of his chair and to face him.

"I have something that I want to say," Kurt stated with fake confidence. Burt stepped forward in curiosity. Was Kurt finally going to say it?

"I'm glad that you're proud of me…but I don't want to lie anymore. Being a part of Glee Club and football has really shown me that I can be anything. And what I am is…" Burt nodded for him to go on, knowing that this _had_ to be it, "…I'm gay."

Burt resisted the urge to yell out, _FINALLY!_ He just nodded and said, "I know."

Kurt looked surprised. "Really?"

"I've known since you were three." Kurt looked a bit confused so Burt added, "All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels." Burt saw Kurt search his mind for the memory and then give a small smile. "I guess I'm not totally in love with the idea," he said, "But if that's who you are, there's nothing I can do about it." When Kurt seemed saddened by what he had just said, Burt said what he had planned on telling Kurt since he suspected, "And I love you just as much." Kurt still stood as if paralyzed, so Burt nodded, "Okay?" and put his hand on his son's shoulder.

Immediately Kurt pulled him into a hug. Burt relished the hug, realizing he had missed his son's hugs so much and couldn't remember the last time he shared one with him. "Thanks for telling me, Kurt." They pulled apart and Kurt gave him another nod before returning to his mirror.

Burt was about to walk up the stairs when he realized his son loved all things dramatic. And he seemed disappointed on how un-shocked his dad was. Maybe he wanted someone to be surprised? Well, Burt decided to humor the kid by asking, "You're sure, right?"

Kurt sat with a straight back and made eye contact with his dad in the mirror. "Yeah, dad, I'm sure," he said.

"Just checking," Burt said, going up the stairs.

When he reached his bedroom, he smiled to himself. Kurt finally told him. He no longer had to ignore those obvious clues or pretend to wonder if his son was dating a girl. Things could finally be how he had wanted them to be for years.

When the scent of Kate's perfume from her old dresser reached his nostrils, Burt ran his hand over the engraved edges. "He finally told me, Kate," he said. "And I don't think I messed it up this time, either. Thank you for watching over me...and him. I'm so proud of our son." He breathed in her scent one last time before heading to bed. The future of his family seemed much brighter.

—

I really wanted to write something between 14-year-old Kurt to coming out, but I just couldn't. So, we finally reached the coming out scene! Yay! And I definitely sat there and transcribed it just so it would be right. I hope this turned out okay. The next chapter should be up soon since I got the inspiration for it a few chapters ago and started writing it. It's basically done, but I just need to decide how TMI I want tipsy!Kurt to be. In case you can't gather from that, the next chapter is in fact from "The Rhodes Not Taken" with Burt picking up a drunken Kurt. So, no, this story is not over, hopefully you guys aren't disappointed by that ;D. And never fear, there will be at least one more chapter that can be called "Attraction in Hormones". It might be a Puck/Kurt moment (yes, this fic is still going to have a Pummel romance, hope y'all aren't too disappointed) or maybe something else...you'll just have to wait and see (cue evil laughter).

Reviews are greatly appreciated, as are any moments you want written about, or even some prompts for other stories. Please feel free to read my other story, _Codependency and Humping_ if you're okay with Puck/Kurt sexy times and awesomeness and awkwardness. Seriously, I wish there was an "awkward" genre on this website, since every story I can even think of writing is the definition of an awkward or a "fluff" genre.

Well, thanks for reading! Definitely not my favorite I've written, but I hope you guys like it!

Love,  
xLessxThanx3x


	8. Drunk

**Drunk**

Burt charged into the emergency room with more fear in his heart than he ever thought possible. He had been at work when Miss Pillsbury, the guidance counselor at McKinley, called from her cell phone saying Kurt was in the emergency room. Without another word leaving her lips Burt yelled that he would be there in five minutes and left one of the mechanics, Carl, in charge of the shop. It actually took him seven minutes to get there but seeing as it was normally a fifteen-minute drive, he thought he did pretty damn good.

He ran up to the front desk, ready to go all _Terms of Endearment_—Kurt had forced him to watch that depressing movie—on the place if they refused to tell him where he was, but thankfully the nurse just smiled at him and led him to a room.

When he got to his son's room, Kurt was sleeping with an IV drip in his arm. Burt expected things to be a lot more frenzied to match how on edge he felt, but the nurse just pat him on the back and said that the doctor would come in at any time to tell them what further action to take, but Kurt was just fine.

Burt entered the room and finally noticed that a petite redhead woman was sitting in one of the chairs. She stood up and had a confused look on her face. "Are you Kurt's dad—Burt Hummel?"

He looked over at her. "Yes," he replied, "Yes I am." Burt walked around to his son's right side and stroked Kurt's hair out of his eyes, the gesture Kate always did to comfort their son. When Burt could tell that his son was still breathing, he turned back to the lady, who still looked confused, "Miss Pillsbury, I assume?"

Suddenly she looked in his eyes and she seemed to have a moment of recognition. One look at Burt's eyes, one look at the shade and the color and glisten and all the love behind them, and no one could deny that Kurt and Burt were indeed related. It was something Kate always brought up when Burt would say how much he looked like her.

"Yes, but please call me Emma. I need to talk to you about why Kurt's here."

Immediately Burt's thoughts raced through images of Kurt's bullying going too far and knocking him unconscious. His brain started picturing worst case scenarios as he turned back to Kurt to examine the parts of his body exposed from the hospital gown. No bruises, so at least it wasn't that bad. "What happened?"

Emma motioned for him to sit down. She herself took at seat and pulled out pamphlets from her purse, "Well, Kurt, um…he was drunk at school today."

Suddenly all the worries flooding his mind flew away and Burt didn't know if he should be relieved that his son presumably just had alcohol poisoning or angry that his son had enough alcohol to get drunk—and on a school day, too. He decided on a mix of the two and let out a bit of a laugh. When he saw Emma's expression he hastily added, "Sorry, it's just a relief. When I first got your call I thought someone had beat him really bad or that his head had hit the edge of the dumpster and he had brain damage or something. I don't like this, but it's better than what it could be."

Emma nodded her head. "And don't worry, Mr. Hummel," she said, "I don't think he got the alcohol from you, but I still need you to give this to Kurt when he goes home." She handed him the pamphlets she had been holding. They were titled _Drinking Isn't Thinking_ and _So You Like to Drown Your Sorrows in Alcohol_. Apparently the warning pamphlets hadn't changed much from Burt's day.

"Thank you," Burt finally replied, shoving them into his coat pocket. "I just wish I knew where he got it. I mean, he looks like an eleven year old milkmaid right now, I can't imagine a fake ID would even work."

The counselor smiled at his joke but then frowned, "I have a hunch…but unless Kurt says it there's no solid proof. Don't worry, I'll be talking to the…um…_student_, especially if it's true." Emma stood up and brushed her hands against her outfit, trying to wipe off some dirt that Burt couldn't see. "I have to get back to school, now, if you'll excuse me." Burt said goodbye and went back to Kurt's side.

"Oh, and Mr. Hummel?" Emma asked, almost completely out the door, "Don't worry, I know Kurt's a good kid, so I made sure that this didn't go on his permanent record."

"Thanks," Burt said, a warm smile on his face.

A few seconds after the door closed, Kurt opened his eyes. "Dad?" he asked after he had blinked several times.

"Yeah, I'm here," Burt replied. He would be gentle now, but later that day, when Kurt was sure to be hung over, Kurt would _not_ hear the end of it.

Just then a doctor walked in with a nametag reading "Dr. John". The doctor looked pretty young and reminded Burt of Kurt's favorite drama, _Grey's Anatomy_. He unhooked the IV from Kurt's arm and then turned to face Burt.

"Hi, I'm Dr. John," he said, offering his hand.

"Burt Hummel," Kurt's father replied, shaking his hand, "Can I take Kurt home now?"

"Yes, that should be completely fine. We had him on the IV to replace some of the fluid and nutrients he lost from vomiting," he said holding the empty bag. "It's just a very mild case of alcohol poisoning." The doctor than gave a mischievous grin, "he just won't feel very happy in the next few hours. That might be the best time to give him a talk."

Burt chuckled, "You read my mind."

Dr. John turned to Kurt, "Now, we aren't reporting what happened to the police, but don't do that _again_, kid." Kurt nodded with wide eyes and a slurred "Yes, no, sir."

The doctor chuckled and turned back to Burt, "He'll be a bit tipsy for a while now, that should be fun. His clothes are over on the table over there," Burt hadn't seen them in his panic to check on his son, "You'll probably need to help him put them on. Then just check out with the nurse up front and take the slugger home." He then added, "Make sure he has plenty of liquids and let him sleep for a few hours. Let him eat only if his stomach feels up to it. And have Advil ready for his headache…unless you see that as part of his punishment. Bring him back if anything seems worrisome. Bye, Mr. Hummel." He turned back to Kurt and said, "Goodbye, kid. Remember what I said."

Suddenly Kurt slurred, with his bottom lip out in a pout, "I'm not a _kid._ I'm _sixteen_. I'm _Kurt_." He looked a bit disappointed that Dr. John didn't know this, but Burt knew that Kurt hated how people always assumed he was in middle school because of his high voice and small body.

Dr. John looked at Burt for confirmation of Kurt's age and Burt nodded. "Well, _Kurt_, stay out of trouble." With that he left the room.

Burt grabbed Kurt's hand, "Okay, kiddo, we're going to get up now. On three: one, two three," he pulled Kurt into a sitting position and then helped him stand up right. It was weird helping his sixteen-year-old son put on clothes, but he was thankful that at least Kurt hadn't tried to wear one of his really tight jeans—or the corset for that matter.

After about ten minutes, the Hummel's walked out of the room and got Kurt checked out. Kurt looked down at his admission bracelet and said, "I think I can pull this off…yeah."

Burt chuckled at his slurred speech, "Whatever you say, kiddo." He ruffled his hair and laughed when a tipsy Kurt attempted to fix it.

When they reached the car, Kurt clumsily put on his seatbelt. Burt pulled out of the parking lot and Kurt leaned over towards his father. "Pssst…dad," he stage whispered.

"What?"

"Wanna know a secret?"

Burt hoped that Kurt was going to tell him how he got the alcohol. "Sure."

Kurt giggled, "Dr. John's _really_ hot. Like, _really_. _Hot._"

Burt paled a bit. Thank God Kurt was actually out now so he didn't have to pretend he didn't hear him. But that didn't mean he wanted to hear about his son's crushes or anything. "That's…that's great, Kurt."

Kurt nodded. "But that's not the secret. The secret is…" he paused dramatically, "I'd _totally_ tap that."

"Okay, Kurt—"

"I mean, I'd have him tap me. I'm such a bottom. Definitely."

"Kurt—"

"I'm like the definition of a bottom. And a twink. You know what those are, right?" The drunken Kurt didn't even wait for Burt to respond, "A twink means I'm girly and hairless and non-muscle-y and stuff."

"That's great, but—"

"A bottom means that another guy's dick would go inside me." With that, Kurt made an awkward hand gesture with his pointer finger going inside his fist.

Burt didn't even try to interrupt him; he just hoped he would shut up soon.

"But I'm not necessarily on the bottom the whole time. Like, I could be doing that cowgirl move or something."

Burt had been repeating the mantra, "_Please_ shut up, Kurt," in his head and it seemed to actually have worked…for about a minute.

"I've used my fingers a few times…" Before Burt could change the subject, the rest of the ride became a gay sex talk from Kurt.

They made it home in five minutes…a new record.

—

I'm actually not sure if one would still be tipsy after getting an IV and all of that…but come on, drunk Kurt was too much to resist! And yay for having a second chapter up in less than 24 hours! What What? XD

I'm not one hundred percent sure what I'm going to write about next, so please send suggestions! I might have the Kurt gets ogled chapter, or maybe if you guys think of something I'll write about it. I'd appreciate suggestions very much!

And, as always, reviews are great! I hope to have another Pummel one shot up soon since, come on, I'm kind of in love with that pairing...xD

Love,  
xLessxThanx3x


	9. Good Vibrations

**Good Vibrations**

Burt carefully walked down the stairs to Kurt's room; normally he wouldn't sneak into his son's room, especially when he wasn't there, but Burt had a surprise for him. Kurt had been very obedient about Burt taking his phone away as punishment for getting drunk, not complaining at all and being an even bigger help around the house. It had only been a week and a half, but since Kurt's iPhone was basically his third hand, Burt knew Kurt was missing it like none other. So, for accepting his punishment without complaints, Burt decided to give him his phone back early.

He thought he would actually be creative about it this time around; Burt decided he would put it in a drawer in Kurt's nightstand and then tell Kurt that he wanted something that was in that particular drawer. Burt smiled to himself as he travelled to Kurt's nightstand. His son was going to be glad, and he like seeing Kurt so happy. Thank God he got to leave work early so he could get the phone in his son's desk before he got back home.

The first drawer contained sheet music. That wouldn't work; there needed to be something Burt would need or want in there. The second drawer contained hand sanitizer and extra hair products that didn't fit on his vanity. Only _Vogue_ and _W_ magazines occupied the third drawer. Burt opened the fourth drawer slightly just to find a few more magazines and a bottle of what appeared to be hand lotion. Well, maybe he would just say that he wanted some hand lotion, or just say for him to check his bottom drawer. It was the thought that counted, anyways.

He pulled the drawer out a bit farther and pulled out the half-empty bottle. It was clear and looked like something familiar that Burt couldn't put his finger on. No, that wouldn't work; maybe he would just tell Kurt to check his bottom drawer and forget about being subtle. When he put the lotion back in the halfway opened drawer, he couldn't help but notice that the magazines looked completely different than the ones in the drawer above it. Burt pulled one out and studied it; there was a man on the cover, and it looked like a fitness type magazine, an old one at that. Kurt must've wanted to get in shape. He mindlessly flipped through the magazine until he realized what he was holding.

Those were _musclemags_.

Holy shit. Oh God. He was perfectly okay with his son masturbating—all teenagers did, regardless of orientation, he was pretty sure—but he definitely didn't need to know what he used to get off. Especially since those men were so…_manly_, not like the more feminine men like, well, Kurt; his son was _very_ gay if he found all of that…pleasing.

Burt swiftly pulled the drawer all the way out and saw a new object roll to the front as he stuffed the magazine back in. He grabbed it in reflex, planning on just returning it to its original spot. But, yet again, Burt's curiosity got the better of him. It was purple and had little ribs around it, fitting the contour of his hand perfectly—

"Dad, what are you doing?"

The older man jumped up at his silence being interrupted. He turned to Kurt and was going to explain what he was doing in his room when Kurt interrupted.

"DAD, WHAT THE _HELL_ IS IN YOUR HAND?"

Kurt's face was bright red and his messenger bag had fallen off his shoulders and was now lying in a heap on the floor by his feet. He looked as if he didn't know whether to start yelling, crying, pacing, or just stay frozen.

Burt wrung his hands, concerned to see his son so upset about whatever was going on. He started, "Kiddo, I was just down here to give you your phone back early when—" Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted as the object in his hands—the hands he'd been twisting awkwardly—started vibrating. Finally, everything clicked in Burt's head and he dropped it on the ground. "Holy shit that's a vibrator!"

Kurt let out a low groan of embarrassment and lowered his head into his hands. Burt stayed frozen in his place, convinced that if he even thought of moving he would end up in another, even more awkward position. The purple vibrator buzzed on the ground for a few minutes as Burt lowered himself into Kurt's bed in shock. After a few more minutes, Kurt quickly walked over, put the sex toy away, and went to stand on the opposite side of the bedroom.

The two stood in silence for a while, avoiding eye contact at all cost. Burt had another realization, "That…that bottle…that's lube, isn't it?" Kurt put his face in his hands but then slowly nodded.

"Jesus," Burt muttered under his breath while thousands of thoughts raced through his head. That bottle was over half empty so Kurt had used a _lot_ of it meaning he had probably used the…_thing_ quite a few times. His son was so _young_, wasn't he? No, sixteen was plenty old enough to want sex—Lord knows he had wanted it at Kurt's age—it was just that Kurt seemed so much younger than that. Kurt just seemed too young and innocent to want sex like, well, like _that_. Burt knew he shouldn't have been surprised; he _had_ gotten a drunken gay sex talk from Kurt not even two weeks ago, where Kurt mentioned he had used his fingers before. Apparently Burt managed to get the car home fast enough or Kurt was talked about the lubrication process long enough to distract him from informing Burt of a certain item he used. But the biggest thought on his mind had to be wonderment on how an object that big got up inside—

"Here, use some of this," Kurt said, holding out some hand sanitizer, suddenly right next to him. Burt rubbed in the mixture as Kurt said, "I, um, always clean it but…just, you always should…sanitize." The teen started walking back to his spot on the opposite side of the room when Burt grabbed him by his sleeve. "Dad, this is Armani, you can't—"

"Just sit down, Kurt," Burt said tiredly. Kurt shifted his eyes around a bit but then followed his dad's instructions, sitting at the very edge of the bed with his legs crossed. Burt cleared his throat awkwardly, "Well, kiddo, you know, this stuff is perfectly normal to want to do."

"Oh God," Kurt groaned under his breath, blushing even more.

"And we all have our dates with, um, Jill—"

"Jill?"

"You know," Burt held out his hand with his fingers slightly spread. "_J-I-L-L_." Kurt groaned in embarrassment again but Burt kept on going. "Or, I guess Jack in this case." He tried to lighten the mood with a chuckle but Kurt looked just as mortified as before. Burt cleared his throat and continued, "Anyways, we all spend a lot of time with Jill and we, you know, use whatever we can find for inspiration—"

"Oh God, you saw the magazines, too?" Kurt asked. Burt nodded and Kurt added, "I'm going to kill April."

"Um, whoever that is, okay. Anyways, I've read some information online about it, you know, gay sex—"

"WHAT?"

"I wanted to make sure I could give you a sex talk if you needed one," Burt answered with a shrug. "Anyways, I know why certain guys like that sort of thing. Because of the prostate…and the prostate, or so I've read, is supposed to be almost as good as a girl's g-spot or clitoris or whatever—"

"Dad, stop _now_!" Kurt exclaimed. "First of all, girl parts…just, no, dad. _No_. Second of all, I've read up on this subject many times. Yes, I know it's normal; yes, some straight guys like it, too; yes, you need lube just don't use too much; yes you need to take time and prepare yourself; yes, you clean it afterwards. Can we pretend this never happened now?"

Burt handed over Kurt's iPhone from his jean's pocket. "Here, I just wanted to sneak this in here as a surprise. I thought I'd let you get this privilege back." Kurt smiled at his phone and immediately sent Mercedes a text to let her know that he had his beloved Apple phone back.

"Thanks, dad," Kurt said, checking up on the rest of his unread text messages.

"No problem, kiddo," Burt said as he stood up. He took the bait of Kurt's polished coif and decided to ruffle Kurt's hair, earning a frown and a glare from the boy. Burt was almost up the stairs when he turned to Kurt, "Hey, kiddo."

"Yeah dad?" Kurt asked, turning his body towards the stairs but keeping his head down to look at what he was texting.

"Before we go on and pretend that this didn't happen, you, uh, may want to get some more lube." Burt laughed at the look on his son's face—it was nice to finally make _him_ feel awkward versus the other way around. He laughed on his way up the stairs and heard Kurt say on his phone, "Mercedes, I'm pretty sure I've been scarred for life…"

—

**So sorry for how long this took! First I was like, "Okay, we'll wait until NBK airs" so I re-fell in love with Darren (HUGE StarKid fan!) and felt conflicted about having Puck/Kurt (though I still love Pummel as a pairing). Then I just had to deal with my anxiety and depression problems mixing with schoolwork. And I discovered Tumblr.**

**So…sorry!**

**I hope this was worth the wait. I could also settle for not the worst thing ever. **

**And if you guys would be so obliged to R&R my other fics, both one-shots, I'd be very excited and happy!**

**And yes, the Kurt getting ogling one will probably be next. :)**

**Please review, guys! It really motivates me so much! I like getting added to story alerts and such, but still.**

**Love and thanks,  
xLessxThanx3x **


	10. Technical Difficulties

**Technical Difficulties**

Burt didn't know whom he should blame more for the latest round of awkwardness: himself or his son. After his son admitted he blew the "Defying Gravity" competition, Burt got him to help around the shop. He had missed the bonding moments they used to have over the car hoods and was glad that Kurt accepted the offer and only needed his coveralls to seal the deal.

Kurt turned on the radio and sang along softly with the music as they worked. He would move his hips and tap his feet a bit, but rarely moved too much. Then a familiar bass beat started pounding through the speakers and Kurt stopped all his work to dance and sing.

"_'Cause if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it! If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it! Don't be mad when you see that he want it, 'cause if you liked then you shoulda put a ring on it! Oh, oh, oh!"_

Burt chuckled at his son's excitement. "That was the song you guys used for the football game, right?"

Kurt nodded, "Yeah." Then he frowned slightly and looked shyly over at Burt. "You're not mad that I quit, are you?"

"Of course not," Burt said, closing the hood of the car. "If it wasn't making you happy then there's no reason to do it. And now we can continue are Friday Night Dinner and Movie tradition." He pulled his son into a half hug and they shared a smile. "C'mon, let's grab some dinner and go home."

Somehow, after that night, that catchy song got stuck in his head. Normally Burt would just listen to a song a few times and it would leave his head, but the problem was that when he listened to the radio in an attempt to hear it again, he normally just heard annoying songs by a girl named Keisha who sounded like a robot. He could've asked Kurt, but it embarrassed him that he had the song stuck in his head at all. So he turned to that website he kept hearing about: YouTube.

After he finally heard the song again, he was curious if someone had put up a video of the football team doing that number. Sure enough, after he typed in "McKinley High School Single Ladies football" he found some poorly shot videos of the football team dancing on the field (man was it funnier now that he knew the outcome of the game). Then he noticed under the related videos that there was one called "Kurt Hummel field goal kick". He clicked on it and was greeted with his son dancing and then kicking the game winning point. Burt smiled at the memory when a comment caught his eye.

_Hey, if you guys like this video, check out my profile to see me doing the full dance ;)_

Burt read the name of the commenter: KurtDefiesGravity. Oh Lord, did he just find his son's YouTube account?

Despite feeling like he shouldn't invade his son's privacy like that, he wanted to see what videos he had posted. He clicked on the account name and was taken to his son's YouTube site. The first image was Kurt surrounded by that blond girl and the Asian "girlfriend" (Brittany and Tina, Burt remembered). And there were those ridiculous outfits they had been wearing when Burt came downstairs.

Ignoring all his instincts, he clicked play and watched his son dance. Wow, that really was the dance straight from the music video Burt had watched.

Then something horrible happened. Burt saw the comments on the video. Well, the comments between his son and someone under the account name of LesMisDude2150.

**Is that really you? I mean, I can't see your face in the other video so I can't tell.**

_Haha yeah, that's me. I know I don't seem like much of a football player. It's a long story._

**Haha no problem, just wanted to be sure. You look so good from behind in that other video it's nice to know that you look good from the front, too ;)**

_Why thank you kind sir. I do try, you know ;)_

**Well I doubt you have to try hard, Kurt**

_Well, I don't do too many HARD things, 2150, because it gets tiring after a while._

"…Kurt did _not_ say that…" Burt said with a groan. His brain kept telling him to stop reading, but his fingers kept scrolling through the page.

**Just call me Eli. And now that we're on a first name basis, I feel like I can say that you have some amazing DSL on you, Kurt.**

Burt had no idea what that meant. Didn't it have something to do with the Internet?

_So, Eli, you think I have lips meant for me to get on my knees?_

Burt sputtered and his hand holding the mouse clenched. He accidentally clicked on another video of Kurt's. This time Kurt was wearing tight sweat pants and a tank top—casual wear for him—but had covered his right eye with a lightning bolt design. The music started with a girl talking and Kurt started dancing.

_"I wanna take a ride on your discostick."_

"What the _hell_?" Burt actually yelled aloud. That _had _to mean…sex, right? Oh my god, no, no, no. And if Kurt's suggestive dancing were any indication, yeah, it was totally about sex. And—Oh _God_, that Les Mis guy commented on the video again.

**Nice video, Kurt. Lady Gaga's song styling's and choreograph just suit your body so well.**

_ Thanks, Eli. Nice to know you appreciate my work. I nearly worked my butt off to get this dance down._

**Well, we wouldn't want you to actually lose dat ass, now would we? ;)**

_You are SO bad, Eli! …but if you say so ;)_

**It's quite a nice one, Kurt, that's all I'm saying.**

_You're making me blush, kind sir!_

**So does your blush run all over your body? You seem deliciously pale enough for that**

_Well, wouldn't you like to know…;)_

Burt finally managed to finally turn off the video and step away from the work computer. He groaned and rested his head in his hands. This could _not_ be happening. His son flirting online with a complete stranger who could be a fifty year old psycho with a large backyard to bury bodies in for all they knew. And not just little, "Oh, you're so cute," flirting but full on "God you're sexy". Had flirting really changed that much since he was in high school? Or was it the Internet? Or maybe a gay thing? Weren't all those idiots claiming that gay guys moved fast and didn't have relationships or whatever?

No, that was _not_ it; those hypocritical "Christians" that were so supposed to preach love just spouted off hate. He knew his son; there was no way he was just going to have random sex or whatever. And, no, his son would just never have sex.

Ever.

Burt shook his head and decided to let it go. His son never had opportunities to flirt in Lima, so maybe he just went overboard online. Kurt wasn't stupid; he wouldn't meet up with anyone online. It was fine.

And could anyone blame him for turning off the radio as soon as "Single Ladies" came on and his son was in the room?

He doubted it.

—

**A/N: **Sorry this took so long to update and that the chapter isn't that great. SUCH WRITERS BLOCK! Ugh! Seriously, any ideas and prompts would be greatly appreciated right now. The last chapter was based off of a story by platowasabore and an idea from bethandbee. This chapter was an idea from bethandbee so…yeah. I like prompts/ideas. :D

I'm working on the one where Kurt gets ogled. I've had this idea for a while, I'm just trying to figure out how to write it, since it keeps getting long and slow moving, so I either need to cut the idea of how it happens and do something different or just find ways to make it shorter.

But anyways, reviews are great and lovely! As our story alerts and such, but seriously, reviews are the best thing out there.

And reviewing my other stories is always amazing as well. All but one are Puckurt though, so don't read if you extremely hate that pairing.

…though I just did come up with an idea about Burt somehow stumbling on more porn on Kurt's computer…but that's just almost like the last chapter so I probably won't do it…

Anyways, thanks for everything!

Love,  
xLessxThanx3x


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